It was in February 2014 when we celebrated my cousin Lux’s 1st birthday party in Sta. Rosa, I find her so cute and charming that I said I wanted to have one of my own soon. I remember posting a picture with her captioned: “What do you think, pwede na bang maging nanay? Haha. 🙂 #babygirl #cousin #love #cuteness #overload”
I am talking to Rick na that time but we’re not officially together, but little did I know that my life will change soon and I will get pregnant 8 months after this picture was taken. Then my tita-ninang Lady commented on the picture basically saying that Lux approves of the idea of me having a baby. Told tita Lady that I need to find a job and a boyfriend first. And she said the words that struck me and something I took by heart. She said everything will fall at the right time, what’s important is that I am ready. Made that my mantra. To this day, I keep on thinking, would anyone really prepare you from being a mother? I sure knows Tita Lady means I should be stable enough financially and mentally. Actually, Tita Lady and Tito Mike is one of my favourite couples/tito and tita, their relationship and marriage inspires me so much. Both of them are so gifted with equal intelligence which their kids Mika and Bella have inherited from them, and also they are both successful in their chosen careers. They’ve been together for years before they got married, something that I see positively since I feel like they’ve already built their relationship foundation from there. Tita Lady is smart, very reserve, sometimes shy and quiet and she smiles a lot. Tito Mike reminds me of Rick, he doesn’t say much but he’s definitely very funny and humorous and full of wisdom I would say. When we’re preparing for the wedding, they are the first pair on our list of principal sponsors. We even asked Tito Mike to give us a small talk during our wedding, which he happily obliged and it was full of wisdom.
Going back to what Tita Lady’s previous comment, it struck me so much that even on the day that I found out that I was pregnant, I asked myself if I was already prepared to become a mom. To be honest, the answer is NO. A big N-O. Physically, I would say no because I have my diabetes and it’s uncontrolled for a very long time. Mentally, I can be but I should say 50-50. Emotionally, yes. Spiritually, of course, babies are blessings who am I to say no to what God has destined for me. And the biggest one, financially? That time I wasn’t working. We do have our savings but it would probably drain very fast since babies are expensive! True enough, they are super expensive. But we don’t regret any money spent on her most especially if it’s for her well-being.
Next question, are we prepared to face parenthood? I think I’ve already blogged something similar to this topic before (read: random thoughts). We didn’t know that it is honestly going to be this rough and hard. I mean, before having a child, you find your cousin’s baby’s dirty diaper so gross to the nth level and 9,000,000 levels of stinky and felt like getting sick when you smell how bad the poopy was. Or how it made you feel almost sick when your mom asked your dad to change the baby’s bum in the dinner table. And yet, when you had your little one, you’ve seen how much he/she pooped and yet you find it cute and relieving that he/she is not constipated or instead of talking about how your’s or your husband day been, you instead ask him/her, how does the baby’s poop look like today? This is generally not parenthood, not even close, no. When Lia was about to turn two, she probably have entered the terrible twos stage. That was when I said that no matter how cute she is, she still annoys me and her dad like mad. She would scream when she doesn’t get whatever she wants, she would start throwing stuff on the floor that would lead to a very bad tantrum, when she’s overly tired and can’t sleep, she would sometimes bang her head on the wall on purpose because again she didn’t get what she wants. Luckily for us, the worst was when she’s hungry and when there’s no food to give her right when she wakes up. After a few months, we finally got in sync with her and have found the “techniques” to please her. Dada and I have agreed that she can be pleased with food, anything with food then she’s good. I mean who wouldn’t, right? Second, we give Lia enough nap and sleep because children can get too hyperactive, they also need to gain their energy. And without enough energy she gets too cranky and would throw tantrums and nothing at this time can please her except to let her go back to sleep.
With parenthood comes your problem of how are we going to discipline Amelia. I mean again, there’s no manual that comes with her from St. Luke’s when we took her home. About 6 months after I gave birth, we bumped into Tita Tess and Tito VN in Bonifacio High Street. Tita Tess asked me what would be our parenting technique will be like with Amelia. I said, I would have to go with whatever Rick wants and will probably bring up Lia to the best of both cultures. Rick and I always have this small talks which we assess how Amelia was the previous weeks/days, we would often discuss how she was when she’s with either of us while the other runs the house or when daddy’s working. We don’t really have any certain plans how are we going to be as parents. We just really want to encourage her to do the things she want to do and excel on it.
Amelia’s being more and more fun each day, I get to enjoy her more, converse with her like a 7 year old and don’t do baby talks anymore. But we didn’t really baby talked her at home which is good and she’s currently bilingual. But as the fun times matters more and more these days, she’s also doing more exploration by herself and getting into a lot of adventures. What I am dreading more these days is when she starts going to school, maybe because I don’t know what’s in store for her.
Note for Amelia:
Here’s to more adventures with you Amelia, like what mommy said earlier on this post, being ready is your only weapon to everything, you come prepared and you will conquer all of it. I love you, Junie! 🙂