Communication, one of the best things I’ve learned from the day I met my husband. I wouldn’t say I am an introvert and probably not an extrovert. I love being on my own, tinkering my phone, reading a book, going out with friends once in a while, coffee dates with my mom and dining out with my sisters would probably be my life in the Philippines if I haven’t met Rick. I’m not at all good with making friends, I’m not the kind that would approach anyone and start acting chummy until I started opening up a bit more and them starting to win my trust, it takes a while for me to come out of my shell.
When it comes to me and Rick, we like talking about everything. We honestly didn’t started talking right away when we decided to start talking on Skype, it was all about head shaking and nodding, all because I am afraid of misunderstanding him because of his accent! 😝 weird right? Imagine yourself in front of the screen for more than 12 hours a day just nodding and shaking their head while you do most of the talking. But right after that, we couldn’t stop talking about anything, everyday. We’ve been married for 2 years, shared little arguments but we never got into a complete total fight, we give and take. I am more of like the drama queen of the year and he was more of like the quiet type. He knows when to talk after all the commotion and he knows when I am making my arte (drama) lang to get his attention, the same thing goes for me. But I’ve never seen or heard my husband rant or complain. Cool lang siya lagi at hindi mahirap sabayan ang pagiging cool niya. To me, it’s more of like after a fight we would talk about what happened and why it happened. We sometimes would stay up until 2-3 a.m and just talk about us, our parenting style and how to improve it, etc. I remembered someone have told me before that I shouldn’t share every single thing with my husband and that I have to keep some secrets to myself. I was like, no that is not even possible, not going to happen. I do keep secrets from him but only when I bought him my surprise occasional gifts or when I buy Lia new books kasi magagalit nanaman si Rick dahil sa sobrang dami nang libro sa bahay, pwede na kami magbukas ng public library. There are also times when I can’t really keep it and just tell him the truth, because I feel like I’m being unfair and I’m talking about minutes lang after committing the crime. 😥 guilty as charged! Haha. He tries to understand me most of the time because he can’t really do anything at all anymore, kamot ulo na lang! 😝 But when it comes to our family we get a little serious about it, we don’t take things for granted. So what do we do exactly from time to time?
We talk about our family.
This goes without saying. I mean, if you have a family you should talk about your future plans. Although Lia’s quite too young about it, we try to get her involved most of the time by asking her with just simple questions answerable with a yes or no. That way, she would still feel that she’s a part of it. 😊 Coming from a broken family, I honestly think that the lack of communication between my mom and my dad is one of the reasons why their marriage failed and I want to try to avoid it and don’t make the same mistakes again.
We talk about our parenting style.
I don’t own Lia alone. I didn’t create Lia on my own. We are her parents and the decisions with anything that regards Lia is not just up to me. This is why they call it co-parenting. Rick and I likes doing things together, raising Amelia right is our main priority as parents. I think it goes the same for everyone who has kids/children, right? You can take advices from other people but still the discretion is still up to the parents. At least in the end, walang sisihan sa anumang outcome, ‘di ba? Let us fail as parents because we want to learn how to do it right. I don’t want to be the mama that Lia loves because I’m too cool, I want to be the bad mama who wants her to grow up independent, well mannered and grounded.
We talk about sex.
Others might find it a bit weird that I am talking about sex, but yes, as a married, grown-up woman I talk and discuss it with my friends and of course, my husband. I have a really healthy and satisfying sex life with my husband. End of story.
Most importantly, we talk about our finances.
I’m a spender, he’s a saver. I love shopping, he’d rather stay at home. But as they say, opposites do attract. I love shopping and been trying my hardest not to give in into the shimmering, glittery lines of.. SALE or 50% OFF!! But you know, it’s nicer this way that he doesn’t like shopping at all, he was like my conscience telling me that we don’t need it or it can wait a bit later. Other couples tend to do the “my-money-is-mine-whats-yours-is-yours” kind of setup, but ours is more of like “my-money-is-our-money” and I like it that way and it is not because I want to spend every single money on our savings but I like how it feels that it is more of ours than just his.
Yes, I would consider myself lucky because I have a very good and strong family foundation. I would give credits to my lolo Enteng and my lola Minda for that, sorry mom but you know you imparted so much life lessons naman that I ponder all the time. From time to time before, my dad was very loving and caring naman, but I grew up mostly him being absent in my life. So, those were the times when I realize my mom was more than enough for me and my sisters. When my dad is being good, he would take us somewhere for no reason or buy us groceries. I saw how Rick was the opposite of dad, nowhere close even. He can be a sweet talker, he gives me the truest, most honest opinions, no sugar coating at all and he can go from serious to humorous in seconds. If I consider myself lucky, I’ll consider Lia luckier than mama for finding a dad that fits the qualification of being a prince charming, he is definitely our knight in shining armour. Grabe na the build up here hunnie, ha? But as a mom all I can ever wish, hope and pray for is for Lia (and her sibling/s) to find someone like their dad.